A Dye Hard Holiday (Curl Up and Dye Mysteries, #5) Read online

  It was a wonderful evening, but I admit to being happy when our guests started going home. I heard Dorchester tell his wife that I was hoping to get lucky, and while that was true, I had an apple pie to devour first. I ran to the kitchen when the last car pulled out, not caring how ridiculous I looked. By then, I had learned where Josh stashed the good stuff. I yanked open the cabinet doors so hard that I nearly ripped the hinges off. I found a folded note in the place where I expected to find my pie.

  Gabriel,

  Your pie is upstairs in our room along with the very special whipped topping I made to go with it. I will feed the pie to you naked on your lap AFTER we put our angels to sleep.

  Love,

  Your Sunshine

  Having that mini fridge in our bedroom suite had sounded silly when Josh first mentioned it, but it was another example of his evil genius. I took the steps two at a time, both eager to tuck our kids into bed, and get to the good times that I knew would follow.

  Josh had already wrangled Dylan into his pajamas, so I got our princess ready for bed. She looked up at me with so much love and joy that it took my breath away. It was my turn to read, so I picked up the thick illustrated book beside their bed and settled with Destiny in one glider while Josh held Dylan in the one beside me. I held the book out so Dylan could see the colorful pages while I told them all about Winnie’s latest adventures.

  They were fast asleep long before I finished the chapter, but I kept reading so that my voice followed them into their dreams. I didn’t need the holiday to remind me to be thankful for Josh and our kids, but I couldn’t deny that somedays were extra special. Love and pride welled so full inside my chest that it nearly hurt to breathe.

  My blessings extended to the privacy of our suite where my husband pressed his naked body to mine and fed me the most delicious boozy apple pie topped with homemade whipped cream that had vanilla liqueur and a splash of cinnamon whisky in it.

  “I have a surprise trip for the entire family tomorrow,” I told Josh after both my stomach and dick were content.

  “We’re not singing Christmas carols, are we?”

  “That’s a damn good idea, but not what I had planned.” I didn’t wait for Josh to guess again. “We’re all going to the tree farm to chop down our family Christmas tree. We get to ride in a sleigh and everything.”

  “Oh man. We’re totally going to end up with a Clark Griswold kind of Christmas.”

  “GET BACK IN BED,” Gabe demanded sleepily. “There cannot possibly be a good enough deal worth getting out of bed at four o’clock in the morning.”

  I rolled out of bed before he could get his hands on me because he would make me late for shopping with our moms, Mere, and Chaz. “You’ll be thanking me come Christmas morning,” I said smugly as I made a dash toward our bathroom. “Go back to sleep. You’re going to need the energy for the lumberjacking you’ll be doing this afternoon.” I still couldn’t believe that Gabriel Roman-Wyatt wanted to pack us all into a sleigh and ride out in the frigid cold to cut down a frigging tree. Where had this even come from?

  I smiled when I came back into our bedroom after a quick shower and found him sound asleep once again. I ran my hands through his silky hair and kissed his cheek before I left our room to meet our mothers in the kitchen.

  “Come on, Josh, we’re going to miss all the good stuff,” my mom whined.

  “Here’s your coffee, sweetie,” Martina said, handing my favorite travel mug to me. Martina wasn’t as enthused as my mom about our early morning excursion into the crazed crowds.

  “Did you see the Toys ‘R’ Us ad?” my mom asked. “There are so many things we want to buy for our angels.”

  “Mom,” I calmly said as I led them to the garage where Duchess was parked. “Gabe and I don’t want the holidays to be about presents and material things. We’re all about the experiences.” Once the words left my mouth, I realized that was why Gabe wanted to do the tree thing. I had to admit, it sounded old-fashioned and sweet.

  “I understand and approve of the sentiment,” my mom agreed.

  “I’m so glad you understand.” Gabe and I worried that they’d take it the wrong way.

  “Of course, I understand, but don’t expect me to listen,” she said sassily.

  “Mommm,” I whined.

  “Listen, as you so eloquently stated yesterday, you and Gabe are responsible for raising the little monsters. Our job as grandparents is to spoil them rotten.”

  I looked to Martina for help, but none was forthcoming. “I call dibs on that toddler train set,” she called out as she climbed in the back seat of my SUV.

  “Dang it,” my mom said. “Okay, but I get to buy that Victorian dollhouse.”

  “Wait! They’re too little for train sets and dollhouses yet,” I told them. I appreciated their holiday enthusiasm, but what was the point of buying a house full of stuff the kids can’t play with for years?

  “Darling, these are age appropriate,” my mother said patiently. “We’re not idiots.”

  “I never said that, Mom.”

  “Not in so many words,” she countered. “Have a little faith in us, honey. Martina and I did a wonderful job with our own kids.” She wasn’t wrong.

  “Yes, Mother.”

  Mere and Chaz were ready to go when I swung by their homes. Chaz had a ginormous cup of coffee, and Mere had something that smelled like chamomile tea. I was convinced more than ever that Meredith and Harley were expecting their first child. She had never gone shopping without a large cup of coffee to spark her to life.

  “I bet a fight breaks out over toasters or some stupid shit,” Chaz said hopefully. He was only there to people watch. “If something exciting happens, I can add it to the last-minute revisions of my Christmas novella.”

  “What’s this book about, honey?” Martina asked eagerly.

  “A stubborn, sassy hairstylist who fights his attraction to his true love,” Chaz replied.

  “Does Wren know that you’re writing a book about him?” I asked innocently.

  Mere giggled in the middle of the back seat. “Good one, Jazz.” I glanced up and caught her eye in the rearview mirror. She grinned from ear to ear, looking happier than I’d ever seen her—including her wedding day. I was looking forward to the moment when I could stop playing dumb and congratulate her.

  “Wren is stoic and mysterious, not stubborn and sassy,” Chaz replied. “My new character resembles a certain blond guy we all know and love.”

  “I’d make a terrible book character,” I said, waving off the idea as ridiculous. “Besides, I know you’re just yanking my chain.”

  “Am not,” Chaz said. “I even have a working title for the first book.”

  “Really? And what would it be?”

  “The Brazilian.”

  “As in wax?” Mere asked.

  “Uh huh,” Chaz said absently, and I knew he was mentally making book notes. “It’s also the nationality of the dead guy our salon owner trips over in the alley behind his shop. I want each of the book titles to be a play on salon services.”

  “Oh! The second book can be called The Blow Job! It’s what we jokingly call a blowout,” Mere said to the moms.

  “I’m not sure how well that title would go over,” Chaz said.

  “Are you kidding?” my mom asked. “It would be awesome. This series would be great with graphic covers.”

  “Blow Me, Baby!” Martina blurted out enthusiastically from her shotgun position, sounding a lot like my blue-feathered pet.

  “Oh! I like that even better,” Mere said. “It’s suggestive without being crude.”

  “Curled Hard and Put Away Wet,” my mom suggested.

  “Oh man! These are great,” Chaz told them.

  I didn’t have to look to know that he was making notes in his phone. I smiled as I merged into traffic with the rest of the insane people out and about before the sun was even up. I had a feeling it was going to be a day I never forgot.

  “Excuse me, Officer.
I do believe I’m entitled to a phone call.” The cop just sneered as he slammed my cell door shut. Fuck my life!

  “You’ve been watching too much television,” he groused.

  “No, it’s because my husband is a police captain,” I said firmly. It sounded better than reciting episodes of The Closer.

  That got his attention. He turned, gave me a harsh once-over, then sneered. “Yeah, right,” was all he said before he walked away.

  “Blissville Police Department,” I yelled, but wasn’t sure if he heard me before he closed the door.

  I flopped down on the hard bench then winced. How the fuck did things escalate to the point that I was arrested? My mom, that’s how! Not that it was her fault, but it didn’t matter, because Gabe was going to kill me. He’d especially be angry if we were late getting home and ruined his tree chopping excursion. I vacillated between wanting them to leave me there and calling Gabe to get me out of the slammer. I feared his reaction, even though I knew damn well that I was justified.

  Apparently, the officer must’ve heard me and decided to look up the name of the BPD’s captain and saw that our names did match because he came back not fifteen minutes later and released me on my own recognizance with a warning.

  “You’re lucky the lady didn’t want to press charges,” he told me.

  “I’m lucky? You watch that video footage and tell me how lucky I am,” I replied, shaking my head. “That lady was a psycho who physically attacked my mother, yet somehow I was the one who was arrested.” The more I thought about it, the angrier I got, but I could see I was barking up the wrong tree with Officer Numb Nuts.

  “Joshy!” My mom burst into tears when I walked out of the holding area. “Are you okay? Did they hurt you? I called Gabe and he took care of everything.” There went my chance of burying this under the damn rug.

  Lord, the only thing injured on me was my pride. “I’m fine, Mama. It’s best we get on home, so I can face the music.”

  “I told Gabe everything that happened,” my mother tearfully assured me. “He knows that your arrest was bullshit.”

  I appreciated my mom’s optimistic outlook, but I knew my husband was most likely wearing out a hole in the carpet from pacing. He wouldn’t look at my actions as justified, he would view them as potential for getting hurt. I reminded myself that fear would be at the heart of the blustery reception I could expect to receive.

  “He wants you to call him,” my mom added when we got in the SUV.

  I wasn’t dumb, I dialed him straight away.

  “Do you have me on speakerphone, Josh?” he asked in a dangerously dark voice. See! Not dumb. He wouldn’t blast me like he wanted to with everyone listening. He’d have an hour to calm down before we got home, longer if we stopped for lunch.

  “Yes,” I said, trying to sound calm. The truth was I was afraid, not of Gabe hurting me, but of seeing disappointment in his eyes. I was used to seeing love, respect, and adoration when he looked at me. Sure, I’d made him mad, or confused him plenty of times, but I never disappointed him. The fact that he used Josh instead of Sunshine was the biggest clue as to the trouble I was in. “I’m sorry, Gabe.”

  He released a long, frustrated sigh. “Just get home safe, Sunshine.”

  I released a sigh of relief. “I will.” I disconnected the call and asked, “Who’s hungry?”

  “No way,” Mere said. “We’re going straight home.”

  “But, Mere.”

  “Can it,” she firmly said. “You did nothing wrong and we’re going to tell Gabriel so. It was complete bullshit what that woman did then cried foul when you called her out.”

  “I got it on video!” Martina exclaimed. “So help me God, I’ll release this on You TV if they show a false portrayal on the news.” I suspected that Martina was about as familiar with social media as her beloved son and meant YouTube, but I certainly wasn’t about to correct her. I needed her on my side.

  I groaned because I hadn’t even thought about cell phone videos. Oh man. There’d be ten different edited versions floating around by the time I got home.

  “It was a setup,” Chaz said calmly. “We’ll make sure Gabe listens and understands.”

  Too bad Gabe grabbed me by my Burberry scarf and practically dragged me up the steps to our bedroom without giving my fan club a chance to talk him down. “Are you okay?” he asked, but he sounded more pissed than concerned.

  “My pride is hurt that I didn’t see that setup for what it was,” I replied. “Your mother has the entire video on her phone.”

  “Great, we can show it to Dylan and Destiny as part of your highlight reel, because I can guarantee there will be plenty more fits in the future,” he said hotly.

  I put my hands on my hips and aimed my best indignant expression his way. “And just what do you expect me to throw a fit about, Gabriel?” Apparently, he didn’t notice my tone of voice or the way I skipped using his nickname.

  “If Dylan doesn’t make captain of the baseball team or Destiny doesn’t make the cheer squad,” Gabe said. “Oh, I bet you’d raise a fuss if you’re not allowed to send birthday treats to school. I hear that they’re cracking down on that stuff nowadays. No cupcakes and fruit punch, you get carrots and water.” He kept rambling on, completely unaware that I was stewing.

  “Maybe I get my knickers in a knot if Dylan doesn’t make the cheer squad or Destiny doesn’t make captain of her softball team,” I corrected him. “It’s a little early to be deciding their extracurricular activities, isn’t it? I’d also like to think that as gay men we wouldn’t guess their hobbies based on their gender either.”

  “Now, Sunshine, you’re deliberately misunderstanding what I meant, so you can divert the attention away from yourself. That’s not going to work this time,” Gabe said, but I noticed he was quick to drop my cutesy name.

  “Save it, Gabe. I’m not in the mood. I need to put on warmer clothes if we’re going to traipse through the woods to find the perfect tree.” I heard the deflation in my voice, and I was sure he did too, but did he understand why? I thought that disappointment was the worst thing I could see in his eyes, but I was wrong. Ridicule was far worse. He didn’t give me a chance to explain anything, he assumed the worst, and mocked me. It felt a lot like the time we broke up two years ago. I knew we were in a much stronger place, but damn it still hurt. “Just give me a few minutes to myself please. The twins have new snowsuits in their closet.”

  “Sunshine…”

  “We’ll talk about this later.”

  I walked to our closet and willed him not to follow me. Thankfully, something went right for me that day because he honored my request and had the twins suited up by the time I joined our family.

  I planted a fake-ass smile on my face, but I could tell that I wasn’t fooling anyone. “Is everyone ready?”

  We crammed ourselves into the minivan with all the enthusiasm of people attending a wake. I wanted to do or say something to lighten the mood, but you know what? Fuck it! Gabe wisely kept his mouth shut during the drive out to the tree farm, which was good because I was working myself into a good snit.

  How dare he? Gabe was supposed to know me better than anyone, but he thought I actually hit that woman over a thirty-dollar plastic toy.

  I wanted to hold onto that anger, but I had to admit that the atmosphere at the Christmas tree farm was majestic. The buildings looked like rustic log cabins you’d expect to see in the mountains. I saw a gift shop, a café where you could buy hot beverages and other goodies to eat on your excursion, and the stable where you boarded the sled. Each of the buildings were decorated with tasteful white Christmas lights. I guess I expected something cheesy like dancing snowmen or Santa inflatables instead of the Norman Rockwell experience it turned out to be.

  “Mom, can you take the twins a minute, so I can talk to Josh?”

  “Sure,” both moms replied.

  “I’m not sure I want to talk to you right now, Gabe,” I said after he pulled me to the rear of the vehicle.<
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  “I know that you don’t, but I don’t like this tension between us.” Gabe breathed deeply, held it for a few heartbeats, then released it slowly. “I know damn well that you didn’t hit some lady at the fucking toy store. I knew it before my mom snatched me by the shirt and made me watch that woman throw herself down and scream foul.” He ran the back of his hand over my cheek before trailing his fingers over my lips. “I was just worried that you could’ve been hurt. You know I don’t react well when your safety is in question.”

  “I know,” I replied softly. I couldn’t hold onto my hissy fit when he looked at me with his melted-chocolate eyes. Damn him. “What about the rest of it?”

  “Sunshine, I will never be the father who stifles his children. If Dylan wants to be a cheerleader then I promise to be the best cheer dad on the planet. If Destiny wants to play softball, I’ll teach her how to slide into home base. Tell me that you believe me.”

  “I do.” I knew in my heart that Gabe was just using examples earlier and not trying to pigeonhole our kids into gender specific roles. “I’m sorry too. I should’ve been smarter.”

  “Hopefully, it will all blow over,” Gabe said. “If not, my mom is ready to release her video on You TV.” He rolled his eyes. “Even I know it’s called YouTube.”

  “What else is bothering you?” I asked when I saw that our reconciliation only chipped away at his tension.

  “Damn Christmas Bandits struck again.”

  “Bandits?” I questioned.

  “They hit too many houses for it to be one person and not get caught.”

  “What happened this time?”

  “They cut the wires for exterior lights and stole a bunch of lawn ornaments,” Gabe replied. “I had hoped the incident at Santa’s Village was going to be an isolated stupid prank, but it’s not looking good.”

  “I’m sorry, babe. I know you’re going to arrest these Christmas Bandits.”

  “We better get going if we’re going to find a tree while there’s still light,” Al said, interrupting us.