I Do, or Dye Trying (Curl Up and Dye Mysteries,#4) Read online

  The morning had taken on such a serious tone, and I wanted to change it so that we both started our day on a positive note and had something to look forward to that night that didn’t involve a haircut or serious talks about mortgages and finances.

  I turned in the circle of his arms and looked down at his upturned face. “Here’s how I see this evening playing out,” I told Josh. “Dinner, haircut, mapping out our plan to buy the mansion together, and we’ll end the night in our bedroom. I’m going to tie your talented, wicked hands to the bed with this tie,” I ran my finger over the silk for emphasis, “and then I’m going to make you come with just one finger.”

  “Braggart,” Josh whispered shakily.

  “It’s not bragging when it’s true,” I reminded him, using a similar phrase he’d used with me in the past. Josh wasn’t the only one impacted by my words. Once spoken aloud, my dick was ready to play again even though he’d had his workout that morning in the shower with Josh. “There’s probably going to be a lot of tongue action too.” Okay, that didn’t help my situation any.

  Josh stepped back from me suddenly. “Go, go now and don’t look back or else you’re really going to be late.”

  I stopped long enough to grab a quick kiss before I left the bedroom. Savage let out a sharp whistle. “Big Daddy! Big Daddy!”

  I stopped at his cage and said, “Love my Dirty Bird. Be a good boy today.”

  “Suck me!” he squawked in response.

  I laughed the entire way down the steps and out the door to my car. I never considered owning a bird before, but I could honestly say I had never loved an animal more than that one.

  I noticed that Adrian looked a little anxious when I arrived at the police department and I felt bad for him. The closer they got to Sally Ann’s due date, the more haggard he looked. “How’s she feeling?” I asked him.

  “She’s fine,” he replied. He ran his hands through his hair until it was standing up all over his head. “I’m the one who’s a fucking mess. Damn, Gabe, I hate the thought of her being in pain, even if it’s to bring our daughter into the world.”

  “I’m sorry, partner. I’m sure that all expectant dads feel the same way. I wish I had some words of wisdom that made you feel better.” I wasn’t sure what else to say because I knew nothing about childbirth or any method the doctors might have to make her more comfortable. It wasn’t something I planned to know either since I wanted to adopt kids rather than find a surrogate. Of course, Josh and I hadn’t determined how we were getting our kids, just that we would have some.

  “I appreciate it, man,” Adrian said. “I’m not sure I can do this again.”

  “Do what? Work with Whitworth?” Dorchester asked when he arrived at the end of our conversation. “You get used to it and sort of live to find ways to twist the stick he has shoved up his ass.” He demonstrated with a hand gesture that looked like he was giving the imaginary stick a good twist.

  I nearly spit my coffee out all over Adrian. As happy as I was to be working with Adrian again, I missed hanging out with Dorchester. He could give Josh a run for his money when it came to shock value.

  Once Adrian stopped laughing, he said, “Nah, man. My wife is due to have our first baby next week. I’m just worried about them both. I can’t wait to meet my daughter, but I’m not looking forward to seeing my wife in pain.”

  “Don’t wimp out,” Dorchester told him firmly. “It’ll be the most beautiful moment of your life. Women are warriors—always have been and always will be—so you need to be equally as strong for her when she needs you most. When you hear your daughter’s first cry and see her in your wife’s arms, you’re going to be glad you weren’t sitting out in the waiting room like our grandfathers were. Can I give you a little bit of advice?”

  “I’d love it,” Adrian said earnestly.

  “Fix yourself, man. You look like hell!” Dorchester waved his hands up and down Adrian’s torso. “You’re unshaven, your hair is a mess, and did you sleep in those damn clothes? Is this how you want to look in the pictures with your wife and infant daughter? Are you trying to scare your baby girl?”

  Adrian stood taller and puffed out his chest a little. “No.”

  “Then shave and clean yourself up when you get home. Pull yourself together for your wife. You think she doesn’t see how nervous you are?” Dorchester crooked his finger for Adrian to come a little closer. He lowered his voice and said, “Maybe you try to have some sexy time with your wife before the little bundle of cockblocking joy arrives.”

  Adrian blushed an interesting shade of red I’d never seen before in all the years I’d known him. “Uh, yeah, I’ll see what I can do.”

  “Good man,” Dorchester said, slapping him hard on the shoulder before he turned to me. “Ready to meet with the prosecutor?”

  “You’re something else, Dorchester,” I told him.

  “Yeah, but have you figured out what yet?” he asked me as I followed him outside to my vehicle.

  “No, but you’ll be the first to know when I do,” I answered. “Dorchester, do you and your family have plans on Sunday afternoon?”

  “Not that I’m aware of, but I’d have to check with the boss before I can commit to anything. Why? Are you wanting to catch a game like we talked about this spring?” Dorchester had mentioned Josh and me attending a game with his family. I thought I had a better idea in mind.

  “We have a weekly dinner with our friends, and I thought maybe your family would like to come over and barbecue and play cornhole with us,” I told him.

  “That sounds awesome. Count us in,” Dorchester said.

  “I thought you said you had to check with the boss?” I asked.

  “Just did.” I could see him wiggling his cell phone out of the corner of my eye. “She said that sounded much better than brunch at her sister’s house.”

  “I don’t want to cause any problems,” I told him.

  “You didn’t. You asked if we were free and we decided we were. I’ve heard you go on and on about Josh’s cooking, so I’m looking forward to sampling it.”

  “Actually, I’m the grill master,” I said proudly. “If you’re a really good boy, I’ll invite you over for one of the Sunday meals where my man cooks a feast. We’ll try you out now to see if you’re deserving of such a treat.”

  “Fine,” Dorchester said with a pout. “Just for that, I’m not asking my wife to bake her apple pie.”

  “Fine with me,” I shot back. “No way her pie is better than Josh’s anyway.”

  “You want to bet?” Dorchester asked.

  “Yeah, I actually do,” I replied.

  “Well, I insist on impartial judges,” he said haughtily. “It’s clear that Josh has home field advantage.”

  I snorted in derision. “Like he needs that,” I said arrogantly. “We’ll do a blind taste test. Only the contestants will know who is pie A or pie B. People can vote for their favorite via secret ballot.”

  “Fine!” Dorchester exclaimed as he texted furiously on his phone.

  “Deal,” I said, going for my phone as soon as I parked outside the courthouse. I sent Josh a quick text.

  Sunshine, I just talked up your apple pie to Dorchester. He thinks Deanna can bake a better apple pie than you. Apple pie bake-off on Sunday. I need you to annihilate her, and I don’t care if her kids are watching. Don’t let me down. Love you!

  I probably should’ve talked to Josh before I invited the couple over, but what was five more people to feed? I also probably should’ve considered Josh’s time before I volunteered him to enter a bake-off against Dorchester’s wife. I might’ve sounded a little crazy, and I wondered what kind of reaction I would get from Josh. My phone vibrated with an incoming text just as I entered the courthouse. I glanced at my phone and smiled when I saw the message.

  I will show her no mercy!

  Damn, I fucking loved that man!

  “WHAT HAVE YOU GOTTEN me into, Gabe?” I asked out loud before I pocketed my phone. I couldn’t im
agine what prompted the debate between him and John, but I was glad that I would finally get to meet the man. I didn’t know why it hadn’t occurred to either of us to invite the Dorchesters sooner. I acknowledged that their first visit to our home might be the last since I was going to humiliate Deanna when she entered her pie in the contest.

  Before Gabe texted me, I had called Chaz and asked him to come over for brunch. I felt like we hadn’t spent any quality alone time together in ages and I missed him. At first, he sounded suspicious of my call, and then he acted like he was too busy to come over for an hour. I won’t lie, it hurt my feelings to the point that I almost told him to forget it. There were other ways I could spend my time that didn’t involve me forcing myself onto my so-called best friend. Yeah, I totally pouted until he got there.

  When he arrived, he was all smiles and happiness to see me; it was the tale of two Chaz Hamiltons. “I have to admit I was suspicious when you called me,” Chaz said.

  “I could tell,” I replied. “Have a seat and let’s eat while this is hot.”

  Chaz began shoveling frittata in his mouth like he hadn’t eaten in days, which I knew wasn’t true since we fed him the night before at the barbecue. Maybe he was in a hurry to leave or perhaps he worked himself into a big appetite, but he wasn’t known for a lot of exercise, unless…

  “Oh my God! You’re bumping uglies with Dr. Dimples!”

  Chaz spat his orange juice all over my dining room table, earning a death glare from me. It wasn’t just any table; it was my great grandmother’s that I lovingly restored and maintained. You couldn’t find quality furniture like it anymore.

  “I’m so sorry,” Chaz sputtered as he began mopping up the OJ with a paper towel. “You just shocked the hell out of me.”

  I rose from my chair and got a damp towel to wipe away the sticky residue left behind. I smiled inwardly when I recalled the time Gabe fucked me to within an inch of my life on that same table, and I nagged at him to make sure he cleaned every drop of jizz.

  “I guess that’s a resounding no then?” I asked.

  “Yes,” Chaz said absently while he checked his phone.

  “Yes, I was right that you’re not having sex with Dr. Dimples, or yes, you are having sex with Dr. Dimples?” I asked. “Which is it?”

  Chaz released a frustrated sigh and set his phone down. “Josh.” Chaz said my name in a serious tone I hadn’t heard since he told me he was gay, like the fact I had caught him a month prior beating off to a picture of Ricky Martin hadn’t been a big enough clue. “I honestly appreciate that you think Kyle is interested in me, but it’s simply not true. Yeah, he thinks I’m cute and given a chance I’m pretty sure he’d tap my ass.” Crude much? “I don’t want that.”

  “You don’t want him to ‘tap your ass’ even a little?” I asked in disbelief.

  “I want what you have… what you and Gabe have,” Chaz amended. “I realize that I don’t want to be someone’s hookup anymore. I want to be ‘the one.’”

  “I didn’t know that Gabe was ‘the one’ until after we’d hooked up,” I told him. In actuality, it took a while for me to stop running scared from Gabe. “I took a chance, and for once it didn’t blow up in my face.”

  “You found your lobster,” Chaz said. I smiled at his Friends reference and thought to myself that it was apropos he used it since he and Dr. Dimples shared a love for the sitcom.

  They shared a love of video games, had the same favorite television show, and they had mutual friends in common. Relationships were formed and lasted with fewer things in common than that, but I didn’t bring him over to lecture him on his love life.

  “Believe it or not, I didn’t invite you over to talk about Dr. Dimples. I just noticed the aggressive way you attacked your food and thought maybe you worked up a good appetite doing something sexy. It was wishful thinking for you on my part, and I apologize.”

  “Why did you invite me over?” Chaz’s tone turned suspicious again. “Did something go wrong with the salon while you were on vacation? I wasn’t aware of any issues.”

  “The opposite, actually,” I told him. “Everything went right with the salon while I was gone and I realized that maybe I’m not employing you to your fullest potential.”

  Chaz squinted as he thought about what I said. “You’re not?” he asked.

  “I’m not,” I confirmed. “I’ll need to relinquish some control as the salon grows and my attention is diverted to filming segments for Channel Eleven, or risk burning my candle at both ends. There are things Gabe likes to do to both my ends and hot wax isn’t one of them. Yet.”

  “Wow.” Chaz’s shocked expression at hearing me talk about giving up some of my ironclad control of the salon was comical.

  “Yeah, I know.” I smiled broadly at him. “How would you like to become the salon manager?”

  “Me?”

  “Yes, you!” I rolled my eyes at his response. “Once I move the spa area upstairs, I’ll be able to open more stations and…”

  “Move the spa area?” Chaz asked.

  “Oh, that’s the best part,” I said excitedly. “Gabe and I decided to buy a house and live away from the salon. I’ll free up some space for expansion, and we get to make a home together that neither of us lived in prior to meeting each other.” My eyes lost focus as I thought about remodeling parts of the mansion, the wedding in the yard, and future little Gabriels running all over the house with Buddy close on their heels and Savage… My fantasy came to a screeching halt. Oh man, Gabe and I had serious work to do with that bird before we brought kids into our lives.

  “Jazz, that’s awesome!” Chaz leaned forward and hugged me as best he could with the corner of the table in the way. He grabbed my hand and ran a finger over the sparkling diamonds in my ring. “You deserve every bit of happiness you’ve found with Gabe and all the moments you haven’t lived yet.” Chaz dropped my hand and sat back.

  “Nice,” I said, smiling at him. “You sounded a little poetic there.” Chaz’s face blushed a pretty shade of pink that would make a lovely nail polish. “What’s with the blushing? I was paying you a compliment, you know.”

  “I do,” he said with a slight nod. “Just like your offer to promote me to salon manager is a big compliment.”

  “I’m sensing a ‘but’ here,” I said.

  “There might be a ‘but’ here,” he confirmed then nibbled on his bottom lip while he turned something over in his brain. “I think I better tell you what’s really been going on in my life because it does impact you more than I ever thought it would.”

  I sat up straight, both excited to get to the truth out of him and a little worried about the visible anxiety on his face and in the way he bounced his knee. “You want me to call Meredith and ask her to come over so you can get this all over with at once?” I sounded like I was doing him a favor when in reality I wanted her there to support me too because whatever he had to say was big. I was dialing her number before Chaz even finished nodding. “Girl, we need you here,” I said dramatically into the phone. “Chaz is ready to confess.”

  “Confess?” Chaz and Meredith both asked at the same time.

  “Yes,” I said to them both. “Chaz is about to tell us what’s really been keeping him up late at night.”

  “I’m on my way.”

  “I’m here, sugar!” Meredith said five minutes later as she ran up the stairs. “Whatever it is, we’ll get through it together. Remember that one time Josh was convinced he had an STD and it turned out to be a bladder infection? Of course, a person needed to engage in a sexual activity of some sort and not just think about it to pick up an STD,” she added with a snort. “Anyway, we’re here for you just like that.”

  “Wait a minute,” I said throwing up my hand. “I had been engaging in sexual activity.”

  Chaz quirked a brow humorously and said, “Jerking off next to someone and not getting any of their spunk on you—hell, not even their hands or mouth—isn’t the kind of sexual activity she was talking
about, Jazz.”

  “Okay, you made your point,” I said with a hint of defensiveness. I had been jerking off too much and not washing my hands enough. The films we’d watched in school about safe sex had me convinced the burning sensation when I urinated was from an STD and not from bacteria caused by bad hygiene. My two besties cackled like hyenas. “There’s nothing funny about STDs,” I said firmly. Or my naivety when I was younger.

  “Of course not,” Mere said after she had a good laugh. “I’m just lightening the mood, honey.” She covered Chaz’s hands with hers, and I laid mine over the top of both. “Tell us what’s been going on, love.”

  “Please, please don’t be mad at me for not telling you about this sooner. I never thought my late-night activities would develop into something worth discussing,” Chaz said.

  “Oh my God! You’re dating Dr. Do Me,” Mere said giddily. “I knew it!”

  “No, but that’s what I thought too,” I told her.

  “Damn,” Meredith said. “You have me stumped then.”

  Chaz took a deep breath, held it, and released it slowly. “Okay, um, I don’t know how to say this except to blurt it out there.” He paused for dramatic effect then said, “I wrote a book,” in a rush so it sounded like one word. “And Kyle is also part of my confession.”

  “You wrote a book?” I asked.

  “What kind of book?” Meredith wanted to know. “And how does it involve the good doctor?”

  Chaz pulled his hands from beneath the pile and rose from his chair. “I am the guy he was gaming with,” he said while he paced my polished floors. “I’m the guy he’s been wanting to meet.”

  “I have so many questions that I don’t know where to start,” I said to Chaz.

  “Ditto,” Mere said softly beside me.

  “Okay, we’ll save the book talk for last because it’s the best part. I joined the online gaming community for research purposes for my book,” Chaz said. “I never expected in a million years that one of the guys I played on a team with was Kyle. Anyway, I, um, got what I needed from the late-night games and chats then shut down my account and focused on writing my book.”